Comcast
2010.09.04, 17:24
Guy: Hi, my name is [whatever]. Is [xxx-yyy-zzzz] still your phone number?
Me: Yep.
Guy: Cool. Have you heard of our high-speed internet, phone, and On-Demand cable package?
Me: Yeah, but I'm really not int...
Guy: Do you pay a lot for your phone service?
Me: Yep.
Guy: So how would you like to save money on our digital phone package?
Me: I'm in a contract, which means I would just spend more by adding your package.
Guy: But it's probably cheaper... is your phone a home line or a cell phone?
Me: A cell phone.
Guy: So those are definitely really expensive. How would you like to spend only $20 a month on your phone bill?
Me: Will you buy out the remainder of my 2-year contract (which includes a data plan) or pay the $400 termination fee?
Guy: ...So what is it you don't like? Me, the product, or saving money?
Me: Wait, what? Really?
Guy: Yeah, what is it you don't like about saving money?
Me: What is it you don't understand about "I won't save money because it's an additional service that I don't want, for additional cost?"
Guy: But it's cheaper than the competitors.
Me: What competitors? There's no other digital phone or cable provider in the area. Your office is three blocks from here and your company has purchased all the local ISPs and digital phone companies.
Guy: Right, so we can give you the best prices.
Me: No, you've effectively cornered the market in this area, so you charge whatever price you like and feel justified.
Guy: Do you watch a lot of movies?
Me: No, and I despise television. I try to avoid paying for things that contain advertisements.
Guy: So you wouldn't be interested in our digital cable package?
Me: No, I wouldn't.
Guy: Do you have any friends or family that you could refer me to that might be interested?
Me: My friends and family are gone.
Guy: Do you know anyone looking for a job?
Me: ...
Guy: So is it the product you don't like?
Me: Can I cancel my internet service with you right here, or do I have to call?
Guy: Um...
Me: Please leave.
Music
2010.07.18, 19:46
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2010.06.23, 23:46
Google
2010.05.07, 03:21
Aaron
2010.03.22, 03:42
Job
2010.03.22, 03:23
Rawr!